What Does Divorce Look Like if You’re Over 50?

divorce over 50We all thought our lives would be set by the time we hit our 50s – that we would have it all figured out. But life doesn’t work that way. No matter what our age, there are always things that can surprise us, and that can include divorce.

Is Divorce the Same at Any Age?

Yes and no. The laws don’t change, but where you’re at in life has a significant effect on divorce proceedings. For example, one or both of you might have established careers and have compiled significant financial assets, all of which will have to be taken into account when dividing marital property.

If you have kids and one of you stayed home to raise them instead of working outside the home, that will have a significant effect on the spousal support the court will award. The parent that stayed home will find it hard to get a job because of both their age and how long they’ve been out of the workforce, so it’s possible that spousal support will be their only form of income.

Retirement

If you’re in your 50s, you’re probably starting to think about retirement – or you might even be one of the lucky few who managed to retire early. The reduced income you have in retirement could affect the amount of spousal support you have to pay, assuming you didn’t retire early (before age 65).

Social Security

If one spouse stayed home to raise the kids and take care of the house, they won’t have much Social Security of their own because they weren’t paying Social Security for all those years they weren’t in the workforce. In some cases, the court might award them a portion of their ex-spouse’s Social Security income, but only if they’re over the age of 62, have not remarried, the marriage lasted for at least ten years, and at least two years have passed since the divorce was finalized.

In general, retirement funds, such as 401k plans, IRA plans, and pension plans are considered marital assets if the parties contributed to the funds during the marriage, though there may be exceptions to this rule for things such as inherited IRAs or other inheritance or gifts.

Pension Plans

Pension Plans are also considered marital property (if earned partially or entirely during the marriage) and the Court typically awards each spouse a percentage of the pension plan.  A pension is divided though a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), in which case the pension plan administrator will send the payments directly to each spouse when the plan participant qualifies to receive same. This ensure payments to each party in the proper form and amount and allows each party to be taxed only on his/her portion of the benefits.

Survivor’s Benefits

You also might want to consider trying to negotiate for survivor benefits. Most pension plans give their workers the option of reducing their retirement benefits for themselves during their lifetime so that more can be paid to their spouse after the employee’s death. This is especially common in cases where the wife stayed home while her husband made the money  or the wife earned far less than the husband during the marriage.  Women tend to live, on average, seven years longer than men. That makes for a substantial amount of survivor’s benefits, so it’s worth it to at least try to get it included as part of your retirement division agreement.

No matter what stage you’re at in life when you and your spouse decide to split, you need a qualified family law attorney on your side – someone who will listen to your story and come up with the best solution for your needs.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 25 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

How to Handle an Ex Who’s Also Your Roommate

ex who’s also your roommateMoving in together is an exciting time. You’re full of love and can’t wait to spend as much time together as possible.

But breakups are the exact opposite. Whether the separation is because of betrayal and mistrust, or just hurt feelings, your ex is usually the last person you want to see. Alternatively, maybe you do still want to see them, even though you know it’s not good for you. Either way, continuing to live with your ex can make it hard to move on, even if doing so is a financial necessity. To make it a little easier, we’ve come up with six tips on how you can handle an ex who’s also your roommate:

  • Set Boundaries

This is especially important for living expenses and household chores. Where you may not have kept track of who did what when you were a couple, one person leaving all the bills and/or work to the other after a breakup can lead to resentment, so set boundaries ASAP. Who’s going to pay which bills and who’s responsible for which chores?

  • Sleep in Different Rooms

This is a big one, for obvious reasons. Even if you’re sleeping in separate beds, sleeping in the same room is still very intimate, which is why you need to stop doing it as soon as you break up. If that means one of you sleeps on the couch, so be it. To keep things as equal as possible, you can even try to take turns sleeping on the couch, assuming your relationship is still strong enough to handle that kind of negotiation and you can both agree to a schedule and stick to it.

  • Don’t Bring Dates Home

Just don’t do it. You may have moved on, but they may not. Or they may be trying, but seeing you with someone else could set them back. It might be hard to talk (or even think) about dating when you’ve just broken up, but it’s best that you and your ex talk as soon after the breakup as possible about if/when you can each bring dates home.

  • Stop Doing Things Together

This can be tough if you’ve lived together for a long time and have an established routine. For example, you used to cook together, stop. The same goes for cooking for them or letting them cook for you. Once you’ve broken up, you’re both responsible for your own meals.

And certainly don’t drink together. While “grabbing a drink” might sound harmless, it can quickly lead to one or both of you overindulging, which can result in fighting and that just makes everything worse.

  • Set a Move-Out Date

Finally, you need to decide as soon as possible who’s moving out and when. Are you both moving out? Is one staying and the other leaving? If you bought a house together, that can make the situation even more complicated. Regardless of the obstacles, you need to find a way to work through them so you can live apart and start moving on with your separate lives sooner, rather than later.

  • Divide any property you have together.

This is where legal help may be needed, as jointly held assets between non-married couples may have to resort to filing legal action to divide that property.  Whether it’s a house, a car, or other items of property that are in joint names, you should speak to an attorney who is experienced in filing partition suits in the event you and your ex cannot agree on the division of your property.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 25 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

How Long Does the Divorce Process Take?

How Long Does the Divorce Process Take?How long the does the divorce process take? That depends on a lot of factors, including how complicated the division of assets is (how many assets, children, pets, etc.) and how well you two cooperate in the divorce process. If one spouse decides they want to drag it out, they can make it last years.

The Requirements

First, there are some requirements you need to meet before you can even file for divorce. These include the fact that, under Illinois law, you or your spouse need to have lived in Illinois for at least 90 days before you can file for divorce in Illinois. If children are involved, that limit goes up to 180 days. If for some reason you don’t meet the time limit and you can’t wait, you’ll have to file in another state.

In Illinois, the only remaining grounds for divorce is irreconcilable differences.  Under Illinois law, if you and your spouse have been living separate and apart for 6 months, irreconcilable differences are presumed. If you have not been living separate and apart for 6 months, you can still file for divorce, but you must allege that irreconcilable differences have arisen and prove same.

Uncontested Divorce

The best-case scenario is when you and your spouse can both agree that divorce is in everyone’s best interests, and you can agree on things like the division of assets, spousal support, and parenting time. These divorces can be completed in as little as two weeks, but more commonly take a month or two.  If there are children involved, both parties must complete a parenting class prior to the entry of the final judgment.

Contested Divorce

When you and your spouse can’t agree on one or more of the important factors in the divorce, that’s known as a contested divorce and it can take much longer – anywhere from 18 to 30 months and on. Each issue that you and your spouse can’t agree on needs to be determined by a judge, and each time you need to go before a judge to argue your case extends the time it will take before the divorce can be finalized.

Divorce by Publication (Default)

Maybe things have deteriorated in your marriage to the point where you don’t even know where your spouse is currently living. If this is the case and you want to seek a divorce from this person, you’ll need a divorce by publication, which requires a few steps.

First you need to attempt to notify the spouse of your intention to divorce them. If you don’t know where they are, you can publish a notice of your intention in local newspapers in the area where they were last known to reside.

You also need to do everything you can to try to locate your spouse. This might include things like calling their friends and family, their last known residence/landlord, employer, etc. There’s no definition for the things you need to do in order to prove you made an effort to reach your spouse, but you do need to provide sufficient evidence that you did everything in your power to reach them. This process could take months.

The missing spouse needs to be given a reasonable amount of time to respond to the notice of your intention to divorce them, but if they fail to respond, then the court will grant your divorce. At that point, you will need to publish notice of the divorce in all the local papers in the area where your spouse was last known to reside.  After publishing the notice once a week for three weeks without a response, the court will deem the divorce to have been finalized.

The Attorneys

Unfortunately, some attorneys will take advantage of the friction in divorces and drag out the process, so they can bill more hours on the case. We never do this. Our job is to serve you and make the process as easy and painless as possible. If you’re considering getting divorced and you need a family law firm you can trust, reach out to us today to schedule a consultation.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 25 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

How Are the “Best Interests of the Children” Determined?

Best Interests of the ChildrenWhen a couple with children decides to get divorced, the first question is usually: how will it affect the children? In most cases, everyone wants what’s best for the children, including the court, but what, exactly, does that mean? And how does a court determine what’s in the best interests of the children?

Ideally, the couple can agree on what’s best for their children and work together to come up with a Parenting Plan that decides how much parenting time each parent gets, where the children will live, who pays child support and how much, etc. The Parenting Plan needs to be approved by a judge, but judges do often assume the parents know what’s best for their children. So long as the Parenting Plan does not run afoul of the law, go against public policy interests, and/or seem unconscionable (meaning no reasonable person would agree to it), the Parenting Plan will be approved by the Court.

Most couples can agree on how to raise the children after the divorce, but sometimes a divorce happens in which the couples can’t agree, and no amount of mediation can help them reach common ground. In that case, the court will have to step in and make up its own mind as to what’s best for the children of the divorcing couple.

In addition to determining how to split parenting time, most judges will also decide which parent gets to make the major parenting decisions (where the children will go to school, who their doctor will be, when they can get their driver’s license, etc.) In Illinois, the law requires that the Court allocate decision-making responsibilities to the parents, either by having them jointly decide one category or by having one parent be solely responsible.  With the 2016 amendments to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, the Court now specifically has to award decision-making responsibility for the 4 following categories:  Health/Medical, Education, Religion, and Extracurricular Activities.  For each category, the Court must indicate whether both or one parent can decide that issue, so it is possible for one parent to have sole decision making on something like medical decisions, but the other parent to be solely responsible for educational decisions.

When allocation of decision-making is contested, Judges must look at 15 factors and weigh them against the existing facts of that case. Those 15 factors are:

  • The children’s wishes;
  • How well the children have adjusted to their current home, school, and community in general;
  • The mental and physical health of everyone involved in the divorce;
  • The level of conflict between the parents and their ability to work together to make decisions;
  • The level of each parent’s past participation in making significant parenting decisions;
  • Any prior agreement or course of conduct between the parents regarding the making of parenting decisions;
  • The wishes of the parents;
  • The children’s needs;
  • The distance between the parents’ residences, the cost and difficulty of transporting the children, each parent’s daily schedules, that of the children, and the likelihood the parents will be able to cooperate in an arrangement;
  • Whether a restriction on decision-making is appropriate;
  • The willingness and ability of each parent to foster a close and continuing relationship between the other parent and the children;
  • Any history of physical violence or threatened physical violence directed at the children by either parent;
  • Any history of abuse against the children or any member of the child(ren’s) household;
  • Whether one of the parents is a sex offender, the nature of their offense, whether they’ve sought treatment, and the nature of that treatment;
  • Any other factor the court might find relevant.

It should be noted that this is not a tally in which parents should aim to win the most points. Each judge will give more weight to some factors than others and it all depends on the situation. If you have any questions about what this might mean for your case, contact us today.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 25 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

Who Gets to Keep the House?

Who Gets to Keep the HouseWho gets to keep the house is often one of the most highly contested aspects of a divorce. Not only is it the largest piece of marital property, but it’s also where the couple made a home together. Many people might want to keep the house, not for its value, but for sentimental reasons, or because it’s the only home they’ve known for the past several years, or even decades. On the other hand, others might want nothing to do with a house that is now tainted with negative associations of an unhappy marriage, but they may need the house as a financial asset to help them get back on their feet after the divorce.

Try to Reach an Agreement

The ideal situation is always to talk with your spouse about what you want and why. Have an honest conversation about what each of you wants and needs from the divorce and how the house plays into that. Maintaining honest communication with your spouse is especially important if you decide to divorce through mediation or work together to come up with a divorce settlement that works for both of you.

Marital Property

The first thing to determine is whether the house can be considered marital property. In most cases the answer is yes, since newlyweds tend to buy a house together shortly after getting married and/or people move into new homes together after they’ve been married for several years. If one spouse owned it prior to the marriage, but the other made mortgage payments and/or other significant contributions to the maintenance of the house, or additions or projects that significantly increased its value, then it could give that spouse certain rights to seek a monetary award from the home.

But not all marital property is split 50/50 under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act. Instead, it gets divided based on several factors, including, but not limited to, the level of contribution by each spouse to acquiring and maintaining the property, the duration of the marriage, other property the parties will be receiving in the divorce, as well as their needs following the divorce.

Factors that Tend to Be Considered When Deciding Who Gets the House

That said, there are also other factors that play into the decision regarding which partner gets to keep the house. For example, if children are involved, the partner given the most parenting time in the divorce usually gets the house so they can keep living there with the kids. Divorce can be especially hard on children, and most judges are sensitive to the fact that letting the kids stay in the same house with one of their parents can help them adjust to the big change. Allowing the kids to stay in the house also means they don’t have to switch to a different school district or leave their friends behind, which is good for them, not only because it means minimizing the changes they have to go through, but also because they have a support system in place to help them deal with the stress of the divorce.

Sometimes the decision is less one of “who gets the house?” and more one of “who gets to stay in the house for now?” For example, if there are children involved, and the partner with the most parenting time gets to stay in the house with the kids, judges have been known to allow them the first opportunity to stay in the home. However, this is dependent on other factors, such as that spouse’s ability to refinance the mortgage, if the loan is in both names, and for that spouse to be able to afford to pay the mortgage following the divorce.

Regardless of whether children are involved, one spouse might be allowed to keep the house on the condition that they buy out the other spouse’s interest in the property. In a spousal support arrangement, the higher-earning spouse may be required to continue making mortgage, taxes, and/or insurance payments on the house, even if they no longer live there.

As you can see, divorce is a complicated situation and the more property is involved, the more complicated it gets. If you are getting, or considering getting divorced, contact our offices right away to discuss your options.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 25 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

What Does Child Support Cover?

child supportIf you’re getting divorced (or thinking about getting divorced) you may be wondering how much you can expect to pay (or receive) in child support payments. Unlike alimony, which is based on a percentage of each spouse’s income, child support is calculated based on the estimated costs of caring for and raising a child.

While the amount of child support an ex-spouse is made to pay will vary depending on the divorce agreement, in most cases, child support payments are just meant to cover the basics: food, clothing, housing, and the essential needs of the children. Things like toys, school books, sports, and school supplies are not normally “covered” by child support payments, so the parent with the most parenting time needs to keep that in mind when budgeting their income (including child support) against their expenses.  The Court can, however, enter orders for child support that address these costs outside of the “basic child support obligation” that is calculated per the statute. See below.

Health Insurance

The parent paying for support may also be required to get health insurance for the child through their employer, if their employer offers it, regardless of whether they’re buying health insurance for themselves through their employer. If their employer does not offer it, the parent with the most parenting time may enroll the child in their employer’s healthcare program.  Once the cost of insurance is determined, the new child support guidelines will normally divide this cost of the child’s premium between the parents.

Orders for Supplemental Support

Depending on your unique situation, the court may order the parent who is paying child support to pay for additional expenses, including those related to education for the child, childcare, or any medical or dental costs that are not covered by insurance. It can also include expenses related to extracurricular activities, such as music lessons and sports, as long as those expenses are deemed reasonable and are intended for the wellbeing of the child, their education, and/or their social, cultural, or athletic development.

This is important to remember, especially if your children are in private school and/or are planning on attending college. The price for higher education continues to climb, so it’s common for both parents to chip in to pay those bills. The court may or may not include a supplemental order for the parent with minority parenting time to cover those costs, but either way it’s a good idea for the parents to work out between themselves who will cover how much of those costs. Not only does it make things easier on their post-marriage relationship, but it also makes things easier on the child by ensuring they can focus on what’s really important: getting a good education.

There are many factors included in divorce, especially when children are involved. Ideally, you and your ex can work together to come up with an agreement, but if that’s not possible, at least know your rights so you have some idea of what to expect.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 25 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

You’re Getting Married and Your Future Spouse Has an Adopted Child, What Does This Mean for You?

future spouse has an adopted childWhile getting married and having kids is great, and relatively straightforward from a legal perspective, life doesn’t always go that smoothly. Sometimes the kids come before marriage, whether from a prior relationship or through adoption. So what does that mean for you if you’re about to become the newest addition to an existing family?

Marrying someone who has already adopted a child can be especially tricky. How tricky depends on a variety of factors:

  • The child’s age now
  • The child’s age when they were adopted
  • Their history before they were adopted
  • Whether they had a closed adoption

The Child’s Age Now

As with any other adoption, if the child is of a certain age, they have a say in whether they want to be adopted by their new step-parent. If the child does not want to be adopted by you, for any reason, then the adoption can’t move forward. That can be painful, but it’s important to respect their wishes and try to work through any existing issues that may have contributed to that decision.

The Child’s History

The child’s age and their history at the time they were adopted can also be important factors in whether they want to add a legal parent. While some children are adopted very young, and thus have never known any other family, others have lost their biological parents and/or been through the foster system. That can make it hard for the child to learn to put down roots and to trust that people are going to stick around for the long haul. For that reason, offering to adopt them can be a beautiful way to show your commitment, not just to your future spouse, but to their children. At the same time, it could also mean the child is not comfortable being adopted by anyone else, in which case it’s important not to force anything on them, even if they’re not yet of age to have a say.

Whether They Had a Closed Adoption

A closed adoption is when the identities of the birth parents and the adopted parents are not known to each other, in which case adopting your step-child could be fairly straightforward, assuming all parties are on board with the idea. But when the birth parents are still in the picture, it can make things tricky.

There are a variety of reasons this might happen. Your future spouse may personally know and/or be related to their child’s birth parents, but decided to adopt for the good of the child. It could be the biological parents were not ready to have a child and your future spouse was; or the biological parents may have been neglectful or even abusive, and your future spouse stepped up by adopting the child for his or her own good.

In any case, although they do not have legal rights to the child, if the biological parents are still in the picture, they may place some emotional pressure on the situation by expressing their disapproval. They won’t have the ability to formally object in Court, since they are no longer their child’s legal parent, but you may want to take their opinion into consideration to help things go smoothly, especially if the child has any sort of relationship with their biological parents.

Your Future Spouse’s View

Ultimately, it is your future spouse has the final say in all this, and he/she may or may not want you to adopt their child. No matter how well things are going between you two, their first obligation is to look after the best interests of their child.  The tougher the child’s history, the more protective the adopted parent is likely to be of them. If your future spouse doesn’t want you to adopt, don’t take it personally. Just do your best to be an active member of the family, as a child can never have too much love.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 25 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

What’s the Difference Between Separation and Divorce?

Difference Between Separation and DivorceThe main difference between separation and divorce is that, when you’re separated, you are still legally married to your spouse. While separations often lead to divorce, divorce is not inevitable once a couple decides to separate. Some couples take some time off from each other to reassess the state of their marriage. Some people decide to take a new, more successful approach to their marriage after that, while others decide to make the separation permanent by filing for divorce.

First, there’s the distinction between a trial separation and a legal separation. A trial separation is when you and your spouse decide, on your own, to live apart for a time to take a break from your marriage. The separation can last as long as you want, since it has no official end date, and you and your spouse are free to divide up the bills and assets during the separation as you see fit. This works pretty well for most people, to the point where some states don’t even provide legal separation as an option.

Obtaining a legal separation requires a court order and often involves much of the same legal processes as a divorce.

Separation is a kind of middle ground between marriage and divorce. You and your spouse remain legally married and cannot remarry until you obtain a divorce. In a legal separation, the judge cannot divide marital property unless the parties agree to the division, but they can determine custody issues, child support, and alimony for the duration of the separation.

Like divorce, in order to obtain a legal separation, you have to file a petition for legal separation in the county in which you live, then serve your spouse with papers informing them of your intention to separate.

In Illinois, you are required to have lived in Illinois for at least 90 days before you can ask for a separation in Illinois. You can still request a legal separation in Illinois if your spouse lives in another state, as long as you have lived in Illinois for the minimum required time period.

If children are involved, then the children must have lived in Illinois for at least six months before an Illinois court can determine custody. If your children live with your spouse in another state, you will likely need to file for separation in the state in which they live. Be sure to look up that state’s requirements before you file or speak with a licensed attorney there.

Once you file for a legal separation, the court will begin the legal process, and that process will ultimately end with the Judge setting a hearing date, much like a divorce hearing. There you will have your opportunity to present your side of the case and the judge will make their decisions regarding custody (or parenting time, as it’s referred to in Illinois), child support, and alimony.

Don’t forget that mediation is always an option and can help the separation process. It can make the entire process go much more smoothly than if you and your spouse are forced to abide by terms laid out by a judge. Couples who mediate their separations and divorces are more likely to abide by the terms of the agreement and are less likely to end up back in court.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 20 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

What if Your Ex Refuses to Help Pay for College?

ex refuses to help pay for collegeIdeally, if your ex refuses to help pay for college you two can work out a solution without resorting to court. If that fails, here’s what you need to know about taking your ex to court if they insist on refusing to help:

Don’t Wait

Everything has a time limit, including demands that your ex-spouse pay their share of child support and/or college. If you wait too long to take your ex to court over failure to contribute to your children’s education, the court may interpret the time you waited as having waived your right to your ex’s financial contributions. If your ex has violated the divorce agreement in any way, it is imperative that you file a complaint against them immediately so you always have a paper trail to show the court.

Doing so also helps prevent your ex from claiming ignorance. Without having those complaints as evidence, your ex may be able to claim they didn’t know about the expenses. In some cases, they may even claim they had no knowledge of your child’s intention of going to college, where they were going, or what they were studying. Some people will then claim they were denied a say in their child’s future, and then you have another problem on your hands.

This is also why it’s important to maintain a record of all correspondence between your ex. Keep track of emails, letters, and statements between you and your spouse so you can prove you made them aware of the expenses and show the court your ex’s responses.

It’s also important not to wait to pursue an Order for college expenses once you know where your child wants to attend school. Many divorce judgments don’t address college because the children are too young at the time of divorce. So, we typically recommend you start the discussions about college with your ex when your high schooler starts visiting campuses. This way, if he or she indicates a refusal to help with tuition, you have time to consult with an attorney and get a motion on file with the Court.

Get an Attorney

If you can’t afford to hire an attorney to go to family court, you can take your spouse to court without an attorney – although we highly recommend you hire a competent legal professional to help represent your interests in court. If you make a mistake or forget to bring up an important point, it can be much more expensive to hire an attorney to try undo your mistake, if that’s even possible.

An attorney can also advise you on the how’s, what’s and when’s in filing for post-minor support, such as what is needed when filing, how to get information about the school’s cost, when the Court will deny a request for contribution to college, etc.

It Won’t Take as Long as You Think

If you’re afraid you don’t have time to take your ex to court and get them to pay up before the bills are due, you don’t have to worry. First of all, that’s why it’s so important for you to file a complaint against your ex as soon as possible – don’t wait until the bills are overdue, and certainly don’t wait until you’ve already paid them before filing, because a judge might perceive that to mean you’ve waived your right to your ex’s help in paying those bills. Also, many times the Court will back-date any Order for post-minor support to the date that you originally filed your motion.

Second, concluding a post-judgment motion (meaning a motion filed after the initial divorce judgment) does not have to take as long as the divorce itself. Unlike many court motions, which can often take months, if not years, to be decided, a post-judgment motion can usually be decided in much less time depending on the case. If it’s a simple matter of your spouse refusing to help pay your child’s education expenses, and you can prove they were made aware of the bills and have refused to contribute, it shouldn’t take a court long to decide the matter. If you don’t have an Order yet for contribution, the process is usually just a matter of exchanging the financial information about each parent’s income and the costs of the school so that the Court can decide whether it is appropriate to make the parents pay for college.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 20 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

What Not to Do on Social Media During Divorce

Social Media During DivorceMost family law attorneys recommend avoiding social media during divorce altogether because anything you say online can and will be used against you in divorce court – even if it seems harmless at the time you posted it.

That said, if you do decide against a social media hiatus until the divorce is over, here are some things you should absolutely avoid posting on social media:

Announcing Your Divorce

While changing your relationship status on social media is exciting when starting a new relationship, the opposite can just make the break up process worse. Talk to your spouse before announcing the change in your relationship status on social media because no one likes to be blindsided. You may, however, discuss potential ways to announce it together.

In fact, that’s a good rule of thumb to maintain for the entire divorce process. Don’t announce your decision to get divorced. Don’t announce when the divorce has been finalized. And don’t announce your hearing/court dates for your divorce. You may continue talking to and about your friends on social media while you’re getting divorced, but don’t talk about your spouse or your divorce. Which brings us to our next piece of advice:

Badmouthing Your Spouse

The divorce process can be frustrating, and for many of us, our first instinct is to get online to complain about things that annoy us – including our significant other, but that’s a really bad idea when you’re getting divorced.

First of all, no one wants to see that. Many of your friends are probably also friends of your spouse, and seeing you complain about their friend creates some very awkward situations. Keep everyone else out of your divorce by refraining from talking about it on social media.

Second of all, as stated above, anything you say online can and will be used against you in divorce court. Badmouthing the other party looks really bad and can influence the judge against you, not to mention aggravate your spouse and make it less likely they’ll cooperate with you in the divorce process.

Incriminating Yourself

If you’re using your joint bank account to go on a shopping spree, don’t post your haul on social media. Even if you don’t specify where the funds came from, any signs of excessive spending can affect the court’s decision when it comes to any alimony and/or child support to which you’re entitled. Division of marital property and financial assets can also be affected by anything you post online about significant purchases.

Not to mention that social media is often widely accessible, even if you use your privacy settings to prevent anyone other than friends and family from seeing your posts. There are ways a court, an attorney, or a prospective employer can access your social media profile. Any signs of irresponsible spending have the potential to affect, not just your current personal life, but any job prospects or potential romantic relationships you might have in the future.

Speaking of romantic relationships, if you’ve been having any extramarital affairs, don’t ever post anything about them on social media. Even if your spouse already knows about the relationship, posting about it on social media looks really bad in court and has the potential to influence the court against you, especially when it comes to things like alimony, child support, and custody.

The attorneys at Sherer Law Offices have been providing legal representation for real estate cases, criminal cases, and all types of family law for more than 20 years. Our experienced divorce attorneys will take the time to really listen to your unique situation so that they can plan strategies that can best protect your best interests. 

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